Melbourne is a city defined by its love of coffee. With some of the best baristas and brews in the world it’s a well deserved reputation. So it’s fitting that my first post (!) is about one of my first caffeinated experiences here.

This is also a public service announcement for any coffee loving Perthians travelling to Melbourne: Baristas/cafes here do not serve long macchiatos ‘topped up’ as us Sandgropers call them. You’ll rarely see it on a menu and I was picked as a Western Australian ordering one on Chapel Street when I first moved here.

What you should ask for is a double shot flat white or double shot latte or  face potential ridicule and snide comments.
Not that all baristas are snobs but you’re more likely to meet one if you display this kind of ‘coffee ignorance’. Same for ordering a soy or white anything at Market Lane Coffee. Just don’t. Their short blacks and cold presses are not worth missing out on for the love of something milky.

Despite living here for the past year I still manage to get my orders mixed up – especially post-visits to Perth. Case in point, I confused a barista earlier today asking for what had been my usual for the past 3 weeks:
“Long macc topped up”
“Topped up?”
“Yes” (Realising my error and wondering how he’ll deal)
“To the top?” barista points to cup lid
“…. Sure” (Waiting for snide comment)
“…So like a double shot flat white or latte?”
I escaped unscathed.
But I clearly I wasn’t the only one to ask for this ‘mysterious coffee’ this morning as I heard him musing on their existence to his co-worker and how ‘they’re not actually a thing’. Cue me laughing and spilling my double shot flat white – coffee karma’s a bitch.


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